I Love My Mom!

I Hurt

Recovery is not going well. Had my follow-up appointment but didn't get my drains removed. Apparently they just aren't ready to come out. ugh. I have 270 stitches from hip to hip that pull like a bitch. I can barely walk, let alone sit here at this computer for more than a few minutes. I've been in bed pretty much ever since I got home from the hospital last Friday. Today was the worst day. Along with the constant pain, I had a terrible bout of nausea. Fun times. Maybe some sort of infection? Who knows.. pardon me while I go back to my bed and be miserable. I miss you.

Recovering

Surgery went well. No complications to speak of, just the irritations of healing now. My follow-up appointment with my surgeon is Wednesday, so hopefully I'll get these drains removed. I spent the day and evening before surgery with some friends and had a blast. Yeah, we drank a bit too much. Went to a couple clubs then ended up back at Kelvin's house. Good times.

mcd

The hardest thing is to let go
But its not defeat
When you set somebody free
And I know you're meant to be yourself
With someone else, not me

Just Passing Time

Longest real relationship? 4 years
How many boyfriends have told you they love you? 6
Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? yes
Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? no
Are you happier single or in a relationship? relationship
Have you ever been cheated on? yes
Have you ever broken someone's heart? not that I know of
Talk to your exes? a couple of them
If you could go back in time would you change things with an ex? no, it's made me who I am today
Do you believe that you are a good girlfriend? I think so
Have you dated people who weren't good to you? yes
Have you ever dated someone older than you? Yes
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depends on the situation
Believe in love at first sight? used to
Ever dated two people at once? yes
Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend? nope
Is heartbreak really as bad as it sounds? unfortunately
Are you looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend? nope, I know who I'd like to be with
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no

What did I do?

Oh good grief! I have never been so drunk in my life as I was last night. I went to a club to watch a few bands that I love, and well... that's about all I remember. My friends told me that I made some phone calls, which is nothing new, and that the bartender cut me off before the first band was even finished. So uh... what the hell did I do all night? I know I took a few pictures, because they were in my camera, but I can honestly say I don't remember taking them. I don't know how I got home, but I do know I didn't drive, because when I woke up my car wasn't here at home. Luckily the club is in walking distance from my house so I walked over there to find it. So if anyone has any insight to what transpired last night, please let me know!

Tired

Ever just looked in the mirror and stared at your face? I did that today, not realizing what I would emotionally feel like after. When the first tear fell down my cheek, I couldn't help but look at the circles under my eyes. I look old. I feel old. I see the gray hair surrounding my face, and the wrinkles around my eyes and mouth. Next month I'll be 35 years old. I have no children and am not married, nor do I have any plans of marriage...not by choice though. I want to get married and have a family, but I'm tired of waiting for that perfect guy to see the real me and and ask. I feel like I have not accomplished a thing in this life. Sure I have a few close friends, but none are local. So when I need to talk to someone, it has to be over the phone. It would be nice to just hug a friend when needed, which seems to be frequent lately. Today was not a good day for me. When my thoughts run rampant, more depressing things come to light. Thoughts I would just love to rip from my heart and brain. I'm so tired. I'm so tired I would love to just lay down and die and be done with it all.

Um, Yeah